The Light Shines in the Darkness

June 23, 2011 reflectinghisradiance

As I reflect on my life, my faith, and the lives of faithful Christians, a realization slowly comes.  Maybe it’s just my temperament, but my internal world changes frequently.  I can either be full of joy and delight about life, or I can feel so insecure and depressed that it’s a wonder I even function.  The funny thing is, I seem to swing back and forth on this internal pendulum rather frequently. 

Earlier this year, I clung to the notion that as I walk with Jesus, I can expect to continually feel excitement, happiness, and overflowing joy.  Yet, as the days march on, I quickly left that place of blissful existence and felt again all kinds of negative emotions .  Does this mean that I no longer have faith in Christ?  Or has He left me?  Did I fail?  Did He?

A survey of men of faith reveals that even those characters whom we elevate in our minds as “heroes of the faith” walked through dark emotional times.  David, the man after God’s own heart, wrote much poetry that reveals a tumultuous emotional life.  His “soul felt downcast and disturbed” within him (Context).  He “wrestled with his thoughts and every day had sorrow in his heart” (Context).  Hm, sounds like depression.  Elijah cowered in a cave and admitted feelings of loneliness and isolation, thinking that he was the only one of God’s people left (Context).  I’ve been there.  Jeremiah railed at God, claiming that God, the  only true God, had deceived him (Context).  How many times when faced with a crisis or even an internal struggle, have I felt like God tricked me with fine sounding promises?  Paul, the respected apostle, longed to “depart and be with the Lord” (Context).  I think each of us have become overwhelmed with the burdens of this world and deeply desired to be in heaven with Christ, rather than continue through seemingly endless difficulties.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a man who bravely spoke out for God against Hitler, ultimately giving his life for Christ, struggled with internal doubts and perhaps depressed emotions. (See Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Prophet, Martyr, Spy).

If emotions determine the validity and veracity of our faith, then I might as well give up now.  If their emotions served as a barometer for their faithfulness, even these witnesses of Christ would lose their credibility.  Yet, Christ has given us something deeper.  Our hope and faith rest in Jesus.  This hope in His faithfulness and His promises are an anchor for our soul.  (Hebrews). Because of that, we can maintain confidence in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, even when everything within and without screams in opposition to that.  When King David poured out his laments to God, he ended with a declaration of the faithfulness of God.  He knew that the salvation of God was sure, and His promises were true.  These remain just as reliable for us today.  Regardless of the fickle nature of our own hearts, may we remain confident and steadfast in the grace that is given us in Christ Jesus.  Rather than allow our capricious emotions to define us and our concept of God, may we allow the Christ to bestow on us His identity and ground us in His truth.  Heaven and earth will pass away, but the Word of God stands forever.

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